I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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