Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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