If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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