maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
