One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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