my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
