marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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