I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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