walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
