piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
