Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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