how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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