Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
