That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Randomize