is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
