marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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