My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
