not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
