I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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