Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
