I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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