Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize