how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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