i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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