hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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