Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize