Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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