i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
so much tequila, so little girl.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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