Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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