Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
