with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
