Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
