I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
