I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Randomize