I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
True but thats because hes a fetus.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize