two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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