It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Panties = found
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