Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
