So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
