he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
