You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
