My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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