Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
