Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have aggressive nipples.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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