yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
