I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
