where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Randomize
