I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize