take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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