So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
