is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
