im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
