Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
