Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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