he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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