Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
