that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
if only i could text you this smell
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
