I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
