return my video game
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
