...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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