hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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