HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
