yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
