He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm bleeding and have questions
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
