i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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