if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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