Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
